Have you ever noticed how quickly your mind makes a judgment — about yourself, about someone else, about what something must mean?
That voice is fast. And often, it’s harsh.
This is your brain’s negativity bias at work — a survival instinct designed to spot threats and protect you. It was helpful when we were scanning the savannah for danger… but it’s less helpful when we’re interpreting someone’s tone in an email or replaying a small mistake we made earlier in the day.
That’s why one of the simplest, most powerful questions we can ask ourselves is: “Am I sure?”
Am I sure they were ignoring me on purpose?
Am I sure I messed that up?
Am I sure I know what they meant by that?
Asking “Am I sure?” slows the moment down. It invites curiosity. It helps us check in, rather than check out. It gently reminds us that our thoughts — as compelling and convincing as they may seem — are not always facts.
One way to build this habit is to notice when a strong emotional reaction flares up. Instead of reacting immediately, take a breath and ask yourself:
“Am I sure this story I’m telling myself is true?”
Even that brief pause can shift everything.
Like all good inner work, this practice doesn’t silence your thoughts — but it helps you hold them more lightly. With time, “Am I sure?” becomes a quiet invitation to slow down, soften judgment, and open the door to something wiser.
Go well.