#197 – Am I Sure? – Part 2

In Blog #177, we explored the simple but powerful habit of asking yourself, “Am I sure?” Since then, several of our manifesto mates have shared how valuable they’ve found this question – while others have asked for a deeper dive into its purpose. So, let’s revisit the idea and unpack why it can be such a wise companion in our everyday thinking.

Our minds are incredible storytellers. In a split second, we can take a fragment of information, add a layer of assumption, and turn it into a “fact” that feels utterly true. Someone doesn’t return our text message – they must be ignoring us. A colleague walks past without smiling – they must be upset with us. We stumble in a meeting – we must be terrible at public speaking.

Except… are we sure?

One of the wisest questions we can ask ourselves in moments like these is exactly that: Am I sure?

Our brains are wired with shortcuts. The negativity bias primes us to notice threats and failures more than successes. The confirmation bias nudges us to seek only the evidence that supports what we already believe. Without realising it, we often accept the first thought that pops into our mind as truth – when it may be nothing more than a half-baked guess.

In our book My Manifesto, we view your personal manifesto as a living guide to help you navigate life with greater clarity, confidence, and compassion. For some of our manifesto mates, a question like Am I sure? becomes part of that guide. It’s a circuit-breaker for automatic thinking and an invitation to gather more information before leaping to conclusions.

Here are some everyday examples:

• You share an idea at work and it isn’t taken up. Before deciding it must have been a bad idea, you pause and ask, Am I sure? Maybe the timing wasn’t right, the budget was already allocated, or other priorities were taking centre stage.
• A close friend cancels lunch plans at the last minute. Before concluding they don’t value your time, you pause and ask, Am I sure? Perhaps they’re unwell, dealing with a family matter, or simply overwhelmed this week.
• Your teenager gives you a short, one-word answer when you ask about their day. Before deciding they’re upset with you, you pause and ask, Am I sure? Maybe they’re just tired, hungry, or preoccupied with homework.
• Your manager gives you brief feedback and you instantly think they’re unhappy with your work. Before accepting that as fact, you pause and ask, Am I sure? Perhaps they were simply in a hurry between meetings or distracted by another task.
• A younger relative doesn’t phone you back as promised. Before thinking they’ve forgotten you, you pause and ask, Am I sure? Maybe they were caught up at work, travelling, or assumed they’d speak to you in person soon.

In our book, we remind readers that we don’t see the world as it is, we see the world as we are. Our perceptions are coloured by our experiences, our moods, and even the stories we tell ourselves. By pausing to ask Am I sure?, we create a small but significant gap between thought and belief – a gap where curiosity, compassion, and wiser choices can emerge.

It’s not about doubting yourself endlessly. It’s about holding your assumptions lightly enough to explore other possibilities. Sometimes the answer will be “Yes, I am sure.” Other times, the honest answer will be “I don’t know yet,” which opens the door to asking questions, listening more deeply, and seeing more clearly.

So, next time your mind hands you a “fact,” take a breath and ask yourself, Am I sure? You may find that this simple question doesn’t just change your thoughts — it changes your life.

Go well!

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